Friday, May 27, 2011

WSDOT claims the Alaskan Way Viaduct is stronger than the Earth!

Seattle, WA 
Viaduct 1, State computer nerds 0


I don't think your scary simulation video serves its intended purpose.  I, for one, was surprised how well the viaduct withstood your fancy compu-quake!  It shook for a LONG time before it collapsed, and then only sections of it collapsed...SECTIONS!!!!  Not the whole thing!  S...E...C...T...I...O...N...S!!  More than half is still standing. "Old Mr. Standy" (that's my new name for it) can take whatever our high-powered state computer nerds can dish out. 

Hardly any loss of life too.  I feel bad for that computer-generated avatar guy at 4:19 who's car was about to go up in flames though.  At least he died with a nice view of the Olympics.  Actually...he might have survived.  Upon importing this video into photoshop and magnifying it 10,000 times, it looks like he has enough room to crawl out of the passenger side...maybe...if he's not too fat...and had both arms intact and at least 80% functional...90% if he's a Belltown hipster, given their puny and genetically inferior arm structure...and this is Seattle...odds are he WAS a Belltown hipster...too bad for you Belltown hipster man...shouldn'ta eaten so much tofu and bok choy...

I do like how this movie ends on a happy note though..."no tsunami expected."  That's nice.  Too late for puny, weak-armed Belltown hipster man, but uplifting for us survivors.  If you really wanted to capture our attention, you should have ended it like the first Back to the suspense..."Tsunami expected?  Find out December 2012..."  Then we'd all sit around for a couple of years stocking up on canned food and getting ready for the sequel. 

I used to think the viaduct was weak..weak like a state such as...oh I don't know...California...or Connecticut.  Now I see that it is strong...strong like the state of Washington.

Words I would now use that best describe the viaduct:
  • sectionally superior
  • partially stable
  • seawally
  • Washington strong
  • non-liquefied...unlike the Earth underneath it!  The viaduct is stronger than the EARTH!   THINK ABOUT THAT CITY COUNCIL!!!
 - Clambaker

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