One Final Question Candidates....

Which one of you farted?

Harborview hospital unveils new kidney stone mascot

Seattle, WA
The dialysis wing of the Harboview hospital was all abuzz this weekend as they introduced to the public the first of its new mascots to promote awareness. Rocky the Kidney Stone was brought out in front of a team of journalists while the theme from Rocky was playing.

The purpose of the new mascot is to help people become aware of symptoms of kidney failure and to have a good time doing it. Hospital director Tim Barrett was a little aprehensive at first, "I thought the idea of a mascot depicting a serious problem was a bad idea, but when I saw him wearing that little baseball cap I thought, this could work. Now I am really excited about the whole idea. We can't wait to show off the new tumor mascot next month."

Harborview hospital was ranked almost last on the annual list of Most Fun Hospitals. It hopes that with their new program, they can surpass Sacred Heart of Spokane who has led Washington hospitals for the last 5 years with their off road wheelchair track and shooting range.

Good try, Timothy Treadwell...

Greeting from sunny British Columbia!

Man...been long, hard working year for Squatch! Squatch been so busy cleaning den, skinning deer, painting cave, hiding old bones of ancestors........and listening to Mrs. Squatch bitch and moan all the time!..."when you fix rabbit traps? When you get haircut? Why you like hot neighbor Squatch better than me? You no love me anymore!" Squatch say, "Squatch fix rabbit traps when you lose 50 pounds!" hahahahahahaha!! Squatch in trouble now!

I suppose it just normal busy work and life stuff...you feel Squatch's pain. Squatch know you busy too. Everybody busy! Life just movin' too fast! John Lennon say, "life what happen when you busy makin' other plans." That so true, Squatch think.

Squatch thought maybe head up north for break this summer to kick back and enjoy some french fry with gravy and some glacier-chilled Kokonee Gold. Everything goin' great until some asshole turn up and film Squatch hangin' out.

What the fuck, man? Squatch come to your vacation and film you?

Anyways...Squatch beeline it outta there in nick of time. Squatch still pissed wannabe Grizzly Man get some video of Squatch. Squatch attempting to contact Anonymous to ask them to hack YouTube and take down video.

Anonymous...if you read Washington Apple...contact Squatch immediately for special favor...

Thanks,

 - Squatch

Fin whale attempts to pick up stakes and move to a better life in Washington state...fails...dies...just like you would

 

Maybe you are considering taking that offer from your company and moving your family to the Pacific Northwest. Maybe you've heard of the legendary natural beauty, the amazing selection of banh-mi sandwiches...or maybe you're just fascinated by the idea of drinkable tap water...

Well stop right there, Mr. and Mrs. Fancypants, non-gluten eating, east-coaster. You should stay right where you are.

If a 50 ton whale can't hack it here, what chance do you have? And if you fail, Washingtonians will line up around the block to take picture of other locals taking pictures of themselves and tweeting about your dead carcass. 

Stay away. You've been warned... 

 - Clambaker