Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Oh, dear sweet beauty...

It's true, your first love will always stay with you. And although mine has traveled many miles away, it too can't escape love. Beautiful, beautiful Kalakala, just look at the way you change the world. I see you in this picture standing tall on a crystal blue river just behind some spring flowers. Look at the parade of boats around you, trying to get close to you. And just behind you, the skyline of a city that is all yours. Carrying the businessmen to their jobs, then safely back home, often lulling them to sleep with your gentle hum.

But with all things come change, and we must accept it. And your new plans as told by the current owner couldn't have made me happier.

"As the owner of the Kalakala, he has to have hope to believe the art-deco ferry boat can be restored and serve as a centerpiece for new development along Tacoma's waterfront that could include an indoor ski-slope, sky-diving, a hotel, and a dolphin aquarium."

Sky diving into a dolphin aquarium is how I always imagined it would be. But now you are for sale and there is indoor ski slope in your future. Unless the city is able to pull together and rebuild the Kingdome, there is no proper place for you on earth. All we can do now is fill you with some sort of eternal light and launch you into space to forever orbit the earth. And on summer evenings when the children are collecting fireflies, they will be able to look up and say," Look daddy! There goes the Kalakala, the jewel of the fleet."

The jewel indeed.


  1. Just curious if the Washington Apple would like to take on an apprentice / intern / cub journalist (like Tintin) from the west side of Puget Sound? Kitsap - Bremerton - Port Orchard - South Kitsap - Gorst would be covered.

    Just let me know. My steno pad and Village Greens Golf Course Pencil (which I stole from the course) are ready to hit the bricks looking for a newsworthy story / event...


  2. Anonymous,

    You can't even be bothered to register a user name with Google and you expect us to just give you a job?

    Okay smart guy...consider this your interview:

    1) Who is your favorite all-time Seattle Mariner, and why?
    2) Write a pro-Highway 99 tunnel argument in exactly 100 words
    3) Give me 5 reasons why Bremerton is a better city than Port Orchard...but only for people that love Worcestershire sauce...
    4) At whose house would you rather have a sleepover at? Steve Largent or Jesus?
    5) How many times have you been to the lavender festival in Sequim? 20-50, 50-100, 100-1000, or 1000+?
    6) In another 100 words, make a compelling argument for increasing Washington State Ferry employees salaries by 300%
    7) I said make it COMPELLING
    8) How pumped are you for another season of Sounders "football?" Not very, Fuck the Sounders, Soccer is for girls, Go back to Europe and take a bath you dirty eurotrash, or I'm wearing my Sounders scarf right now!
    9) Name 3 Seattle Storm players.
    10) Go to the mirror in your bathroom. Look at yourself. Keep looking at yourself. Explain to your reflection how embarrassed you are that you knew 3 Seattle Storm player names. Now watch yourself eat a pickle.

    Contact us when you're ready...